Shame
by MoonStoneFairy89
Summary: Bill fights and tries to escape Lorena's clutches in 1920's Seattle. Pretty simple fic and I added a 2nd chapter after all.
1. Rose

_**After some consideration, I decided to mix the Lorena from True Blood with the Lorena from the books since they're a bit different. The one from the books has an accent and is supposed to blonde while the TB one has dark hair and has no accent, etc…**_

_**This is a two-part story purely done to flex my writing a bit more and play around with my imagination.I do my own editing so forgive any mistakes. =D  
**_

_**Anything here belongs to Charlaine Harris and/or HBO except for Rose and another minor character I'll add later. **_

………….

For several nights now, Lorena had chosen to bring him a human- a brunette and fading beauty from one of the more miserable cabarets in Seattle. The woman had mostly likely dreamt of becoming an actress or singer but hard times had caught up with her and her dreams had been dashed away. Instead, she had been forced to use her body in order to survive in this lonely world. This woman- Rose- was now dead and sprawled facedown across the bed.

He had liked Rose.

He had wanted to break her away from the life she was leading.

He had wished to help her regain her life.

Instead he had only brought her to death and he hated Lorena for it.

"We have tired her out beyond help…" Lorena purred as she ran her small fingers down Rose's naked back.

"You killed her." He accused her and glared at her from where he sat. He could get a clear view of Rose's face and her lifeless blue eyes as her left cheek rested on the rumpled bed sheets and matted dark hair. Lorena only shrugged and pushed the body aside far enough so she could lie on the bed. She was wearing her rayon nightgown and nothing else. He was sitting on the chaise lounge on the far side of the room but with a clear view of her lovely legs as she moved them softly across the sheets. Rose's body was at the edge of the bed now, lifeless and empty.

"No. She killed herself the moment she chose the path to perdition." It was so abrupt and cold that it smothered out the rising lust he had begun to feel for Lorena despite himself. Would it ever end for him? He hated himself at times for craving her so much but he was determined to put an end to it. He simply had to for his own sake. For Rose.

After all, it had been Lorena who had brought Rose to him as a peace offering from a previous fight. He had seen Rose several times in the cabaret she worked at and had often found himself fantasizing about her- mostly because Rose bore a close resemblance to his now deceased wife, Caroline. It was morbid, this fascination with the lovely Rose that had begun to cloud his thoughts.

Lorena, always apt to notice his change in mood, had noticed the growing interest he had developed for Rose and she had brought her to him. _She is my gift to you. Enjoy her well_. With those words, Lorena left them alone as he set out to enjoy this lovely peace offering that graced the bed. What's more, he enjoyed his lovely Rose nightly and exclusively after that and he often found himself whispering fevered pleas for forgiveness though they were not meant for Rose.

He really had wanted to return to her after the war. She had been all he ever thought of in those lonely days and nights filled with war, famine, and children… How were the children?

He had loved her.

Rose would nod and forgive him. She would indulge him because in the end, it was her job to soothe and listen to the men she shared herself with. But once he found himself needing to glamour her after taking blood from her, he remembered that she was not his beloved Caroline and he was no longer human. Caroline had long passed away and he should have been old and gray as he sat in his rocking chair in the old Compton home, surrounded by his grandchildren. He should have been nearing ninety-two.

Instead he was fucking a miserable whore with more stamina than in his human youth and it filled him with shame.

Lorena was no fool. She had noticed that his fascination with Rose had extended beyond shallow lust. He was sure Lorena had heard his whispered cries for forgiveness meant for his wife Caroline. Rose had been brought as a peace offering, a brief tryst to bring him satisfaction and variety and nothing more. Lorena could tolerate sharing him for a few nights to distract him but she could not compete with the memory of a deceased woman; Lorena hated competition.

So instead, Lorena joined in as he was busy mounting Rose from behind. She had begun to play with Rose's breasts, taking one in to her mouth as she looked up at him with mischief. It was enough to drive him out of control. Here he was, with the ghost of his darling wife Caroline and the tempting fiend that was Lorena, his eternal lover.

He drove into Rose a few more times before he bit her neck and enjoyed the ecstasy her blood gave him. His beautiful Rose, her blood was so sweet and aromatic. He found himself wondering what Caroline would have tasted like; he imagined it was her, pushing herself against him as she began to reach her own climax. Without thinking of the consequences, he shouted out Caroline's name, as he usually did, once his fangs detached from Rose's lovely neck and it was enough for Lorena to end it all. Rose's moans of pleasure quickly grew into whimpers of pain as Lorena, who had been taking blood from her breast, latched on with force and drained her dry. It was over in seconds and it was so sudden he pulled out himself out and stepped back as Lorena let Rose's face land facedown on the bed.

Lorena licked the last remainder of Rose's blood from her lips and her fingers caught the small trickle of blood that had run down her chin before it ruined her nightgown.

"Caroline," she mulled the name over, "Was that the name of your little human wife, no?" Her accent, which she deftly concealed when necessary, was clearly evident and a sign that she was not as serene as she appeared to be.

That was how he found himself sitting down, naked, trying to gather his thoughts and his temper. Oh yes, the desire to kill Lorena was definitely strong tonight, more than any other night. Possibly stronger than the night she turned him or the night she dragged him away from his home as he whispered a silent goodbye to his wife and children. To his adored Caroline.

"You had no right to end her life this way." He tells her, straining to control himself because after all, Lorena is his maker and nearly three hundred years old.

"She was a gift. A temporary pet like your common dog or cat. They all die in the end. Bill, you must accept that her time was due." She runs her tongue across her extended fangs and closes her eyes as she savors the flavor of the blood. "Though she was lovely while she lasted."

"How can you be so callous to end her life this way?" his voice is quiet, resigned as he places his face in his hands.

In mere seconds, Lorena's hands caress his hair and begins to pry his hands from covering his face. She lifts the hem of her nightgown up to her waist and lets him see that she has nothing underneath as she straddles him.

"She had a far more pleasurable death here with us than the one she would have received at the hands of some of the brutes she tended to." She whispers against his ear as she grinds against his growing member. No! She will not overpower him with her trickery and velvety voice. Before she can react, he grips her throat in his hands and growls at her, fangs bared in both arousal and anger.

"You wanted her dead because she was important to me. You are a demented demon, not a woman." His voice is laden with hate and anger and years of oppression.

Lorena laughs despite the pressure that he has placed on her throat and her hands trail down to touch and guide him into her.

"Not a woman?" she asks once his grip on her throat has loosened and she begins to grind down on him, slowly. "Caroline… still longing for that lump of dead flesh that lies buried in the earth. You are here, with me. Now and forever. " Her pace begins to quicken and to his own disgrace, he begins to succumb to her as he lowers the straps of her nightgown to reveal her breasts and he begins to kiss them. "How can you pine for a life of weakness and death?" Her hands pull his head back from her breasts with such strength that his scalp begins to hurt. She is still angry despite her controlled expression and she is ready to bring him pain.

He loves her.

He hates her.

He wants to fuck her.

But most of all, he wants to kill her.


	2. Edward

_**Decided to add to this fic after all because I needed to clear my head and write something a bit different. **_

_**I've actually had this written out and in the works for a very long time so I just went along and finished with it to get it over with. If I hold on to it any longer, I'll get really nitpicky and never finish it anyway. So forgive the mistakes/inconsistencies that are probably scattered around..**_

_**I'm not marking this as complete because I may or may not add to this. Depends on when inspiration and boredom hit me at the same time =D. **_

_**Toodles!**_

……………

Lorena loved to play mind games… he was proof of her strange fascination.

He was witness to it now.

He had managed to avoid Lorena and the home he shared with her for days, only coming back to rest and sometimes not at all. Instead he'd see the city, often spending many lonely hours musing as he walked along the bay. The rank and polluted lake was a much more favorable companion than the hostile environment he shared with Lorena these past few weeks. On a few rare occasions, he'd speak with others like himself who were relocating after the war in Europe. Others were simply trying to survive the best way they could, by lurking in the shadows and alleys as they took their victims. But things were getting better for his kind as the Kings and Queens had begun to fully establish themselves. There were so many others like him, roaming the streets at night, back and forth as they moved across the world with ease. Lorena had been around longer, she had seen much in the centuries of her long life, but he was still ignorant of the entire world around him. And he was completely fascinated by the idea of traveling the world without Lorena hindering his thirst for knowledge.

It was on those nightly treks across the colorful city that he saw her. It didn't matter that she was on the ground clutching an injured ankle- though he knew she was perfectly alright- with her hand as she tried not to scream in agony. A strong gust of wind nearly flew her hat away and she clutched at it helplessly with her white gloved hands. She had cut her hair in the strange short styles that women were using these days though he was sure that it would grow back in a matter of days (if not overnight). It always did for their kind. The young man who was beside her picked her up in his arms and she held her breath, as if pained by the sudden movement to her leg, as he deposited her in those new metal machines for transportation. A _cab,_ they called it. The young man was oblivious to the dangerous creature he was tending to, unaware of the deadly game she was playing.

Bill stuck his hands in his pockets and glowered at the automobile that rumbled through the noisy night streets as it left. He remained there, careful to hide his eyes with the rim of his hat. Tonight, he was in no mood to speak with others- human or vampire alike. This was a strange echo of the same evening when he had seen Lorena for the first time and he had to debate whether to let her have her way or put an end to her once and for all. The wind smacked against him, making the ends of his trench coat flutter about as he walked down the streets, his legs had memorized the path to their home as his mind focused on keeping his emotions in check.

By society's standards, their home was a modest one though no one was aware of what was hidden beneath its floors. No one could imagine that the happily wed couple spent their days sleeping on the ground in their silent graves only to wake and cavort about in the decadent human nightlife. The world was moving at a fast pace in this century and in this thriving city no one bothered to question each other's strange activities- especially those of their eccentric neighbors. Times were different now.

The house was quiet and he was careful to not make any noise as he entered. He knew Lorena was aware of his presence but her charade continued on flawlessly. She played her part to perfection as she continued to clutch her ankle in pain and feigned being abashed at having the young man in her home. Bill lurked in the shadows, hiding behind the large and opulent oak doors, clutching at the handle to hold himself back.

The young man introduced himself as Edward Stowbridge and he was only visiting his relatives before he set out to finish his studies abroad. To Edward, she was a lonely and injured woman who only sought companionship. Her _husband_ was always so busy and she was grateful for Edward's help. There was no one else to help her, her husband had been greatly disturbed by the war in Europe and was wary of having a servant around to help. Edward nodded and looked at her with pity and admiration as he fidgeted with his pocket watch and looked nervously out the dark window. But Lorena turned his attention back to her as she bent over to touch her ankle, this time letting her skirt ride up higher to show her legs and the ends of her silk stockings.

Edward was trapped just as Bill had been trapped years ago, and his life depended on the decision he made when Lorena stood and began to approach him, no longer bothering to limp. Edward placed his hands on Lorena's wrists and stopped her from reaching out to him. _No, _he told her. Lorena turned away from Edward, her face hidden in the shadows. _Are you sure? _She asked dully, her fingers already arching in anticipation for what she was about to do. _I can't. I'm sorry. _He sealed his fate with those words, Bill knew it. With nothing else left to say to each other, Edward began to turn away unaware that Lorena had lunged at him, ready to bite.

The memory of the night when she had offered herself to Bill came back vividly and he leapt forth from the shadows to pull Lorena away. With a force he had thought himself to be incapable of he crushed her windpipe and threw her across the room carelessly. She crashed into the oak door where Bill had stood merely seconds ago with a deafening sound. The door splintered and the thick shards of glass that had served as ornamental windows to the door were scattered around and _through_ her.

He hoped she was dead.

He wanted to blame this new streak of violence and insecurity on Lorena though he was sure that it was all a part of him that was brought forth when he was turned. Seeing her with this mere _boy_ brought memories of that time she had approached him in that lonely cabin of hers. This boy- this Edward- was her means to torture him for his increasing detachment from her. However, he had been clumsy in his reaction and in pulling Lorena away he had knocked Edward down. The sudden movement caused him to fall over and he hit his head with the edge of the coffee table, hard. There was very little blood pooling underneath Edward's head but it was enough to add to his bloodlust this evening.

He needed to be in control tonight.

"Were you planning on killing me so that you could finally run away?" her voice comes out weak and gravelly and her broken body is bathed in blood. She is rendered completely powerless for the time being while she lies there on the floor, internally combusting with rage and defeat. Through some odd magic, they were linked and though he enjoyed seeing her in pain, he wanted nothing more than to help her.

"This has to end." He is says it aloud for her to hear, for the first time asserting what has been in the back of his mind. His voice is cool and indifferent; all he feels is pity and shame for ever coming to feel anything akin to _love_ for this creature before him.

She gives him a short and mirthless laugh that ends quickly when her face begins to crumple into the first few visible signs of anguish as her body tries to heal itself. It is going to be a difficult process and not at all quick. There were vampires still growing limbs they had lost in the quake and that had been nearly two decades ago.

"You and I are not so different from each other. That is why we are so compatible." She sits up, using her elbows and hands for support though it is an awkward movement because her left arm is visibly broken and useless. "You want to kill me and you want to kill _him_… There is viciousness inside you that you know is not human. That _you_ are no longer human. I thought you had gotten past that whining." Contempt, her voice is laced with it and he has to wonder how they ever got past this point. He had resented her in the beginning when she had tricked him into this cursed existence until he had grown used to it. She was the first woman he had been with that was unafraid of her sexuality and he had to admit that he found that thrilling. Lorena was far more skilled than he was and they had forever to enjoy themselves. But her fits of jealousy, her wild new fetishes that became increasingly painful, the complete control she had taken over him- it had all eroded his insatiable desire for her into nothing but hate.

"What were you planning to do with the boy?" he asks though he knows that Edward was a means to punish him for his ongoing disobedience.

"You needed a brother. It would encourage you to behave and set a good example." She sneers at him and inhales deeply, closing her eyes. The small pool of blood has grown, not significantly, from Edward's head wound. He is still unconscious on the floor and in no danger of dying, at the moment at least. "It would be so wonderful…" she adds in sudden rapture, "We could mix our blood, bring him over and make him _ours. _We can be that family you crave so much."

Bill crouches on the floor as he grasps Lorena's neck, applying only the slightest pressure. Her legs are immobile after being cut open with the glass and she does not have enough strength yet to retaliate. He wonders if what she has suggested is even possible and for just a moment, he allows himself to see her fantasy. It was something he had never heard of before and there were already enough vampires who viewed his relationship with Lorena as something abnormal. Experimenting with blood and life was never a good idea and it only helped to prove that Lorena was dangerous to their own kind.

"Let the boy live his life, he has no business here. This is our quarrel."

She closes her eyes as she presses her neck forward into his hands, inviting him to hurt her even more. He loosens his grip in return. "I know you were planning on leaving me. You wish to see the world, to find out if there are other," she pauses to search for the right words, "hopeless idealists pretending to still be human."

"I want to be away from you, yes. This." He points at Edward on the floor, "is the reason why I want to leave. You have no respect for human life."

"And yet you let your emotions have the best of you. Were you jealous of this human? If you cared enough for his life, you should not have waited until he was in danger… Or did seeing me play human have an effect on you?" she reaches out to touch him but he pulls away from her and finally releases her neck in disgust.

"Have I not made it clear since the first night you were turned?" Her eyes flash with anger as she looks up at him, "You are no longer human. You pride yourself in never taking a human life on purpose but that does not make you closer to _them_. I have given you so much more!"

"I don't wish to partake in your games any longer," his voice is a mix of contained fury and impatience.

He expects for her to shriek at him but the sudden softness in her voice startles him, "Will you be the cause of my final death? Do you plan to bring my end _minha criança_."

He hates it when she calls him that because it only serves to weaken him. He hates it when she reverts back to her soft nature and laces her voice with a sweetness he wishes she truly possessed within. Her language, when spoken in soft tones, reminds him that she had been human once and the life she led.

He remembers the story of her human death well, she had confided in him about her final days as a human in an attempt to comfort him for the loss of his own. He thought he had loved her then, when she had shown how vulnerable she could be. But it was a tale he often questioned. Had it been true or simply fabricated to win his love and trust? According to her tale, she had lived the privileged life of an aristocrat in the jungles of the south only to lose it all after her family had been disgraced with stealing from the king. Her mother had forced her to run away to live with an aunt in a nearby city but she been captured by soldiers and accused of stowing away diamonds. They'd raped her and left her for dead in the river where she had ultimately encountered the woman who would bring her over. Her first night as a vampire, she had taken the opportunity to lure her human attackers into a trap. She must have been lovely to them, a goddess dwelling in the river, as she beckoned them to her. One by one, she had her revenge.

"I have seen the evils of men and _you_ are one of those few precious left that did not deserve to live in the damned cycle of human life. I knew I had to save you from that as soon as you showed me how worthy you were of my gift…" her voice softens and he can see the part of her that is still lost, yearning for affection. If she wills him to stay, he would have no choice but to obey. "I was so lonely before you joined me."

But Edward is lying on the floor, slowly bleeding and for what? Countless humans are dead, having filled their nights with a few hours of rapture, before Lorena drained them and disposed of their bodies. And there was nothing more aside from that… He wanted more.

"You know you can hold me back and stop me from leaving. You can force me to help you and we can continue on this way for decades more. But I will not do it willingly. I need time away from you.

"And you will come when I call you?

"Do I have a choice?"

She smirks and lays her head down on the floor, flinching in pain as her leg begins to heal. She has not bothered to take out the shards of glass. "If I need you, you will know my call. Otherwise, we shall be strangers to one another… I'll let you have your precious freedom so that you can see that humans do not appreciate us. Either way, I expect for you to return to me soon, once you realize that what we have is unique."

"And if I do not?"

"Then we shall see about that."

Her face is unreadable but there is an underlying threat in her voice that warns him of what is to come should he renounce her completely. But he has lived in submission to her for decades and he cannot let her hold on him continue any longer.

"And this boy? What will become of him?

"I am giving you your _freedom_," she laughs bitterly. "Do not concern yourself with him."

He could approach her again to help her up from the floor and see that she is well before he leaves. But he walks away from her, knowing fully well that she would not appreciate his pity. Some part of her must have hoped that Bill would find it in himself to care enough to turn back. Instead he glances at Edward's pale body, sensing that the head wound has left in a more dangerous state than he had assumed. The young man is as good as dead at this point… He feels like a coward for not looking back at what Lorena plans to do with him as he leaves through the front door. She is a wounded vampire and Edward slowly bleeding to death. But the cool night air hits his face and roar of the city's night calls to him. Suddenly, with his newfound freedom, Lorena and her schemes seem so far away.

For the first time since he can remember, he is alone and without obligation.

………


End file.
